Today was gonna be the day

Dear super secret blog,

I have to tell you something because this will never make it to the papers, although it is a good story.

My gorgeous darling of a friend Lieselot manages a bar in Brussels. Ealier tonight a rather famous British band called Oasis walked in and tried to order a Guinness. She told them off for asking for an Irish bevvie while they were in a Belgian establishment serving more than 50 different types of beer. Taken aback by her common sense, they acquiesced and proceeded to consume the first of many, many Belgian beers that night.

At some point during the night, Liam Gallagher walked over to her and asked her if she was married. “No”, came the reply, and he suddenly planted a big, sloppy one on her. “Are you crazy?!” she pushed him back, half astonished, half put off by the thick British bloke who wouldn’t take off his sunnies the entire time he was there.

“Just another drunk foreigner”, she thought to herself. One of the guys ran over, pulled him back, and politely apologised for his friend’s behaviour.

Liam and his posse ordered many drinks that night, calling her over to bring them another round each time. “You’ll have to wait, I’m serving the other table first”, she told them on occasion. When the bar began to empty out, the guys invited her to have a few drinks with them. She did, and found out that they were an okay bunch. So she stayed for a few more drinks and chatted some more.

“Can we play a song?” one of them asked, pointing at the stage where live bands usually play every night.

“Well…. I don’t know, I’ll check”, she replied, not sure if these blokes were going to be any good. Plus, was there any company policy about not letting drunk customers play music at the bar?

But the bar was quiet tonight, and there were only three tables left. One of the musicians on stage scanned the empty premises, and probably thought it would be a good time for a break. He told Lieselot those drunk British guys could come up to play if they wanted to.

So they did, and on the second song she thought to herself, ‘Hey, these guys are pretty good. In fact, their songs sound really familiar. Really, really familiar’.

The other bartenders thought they’d heard these tunes somewhere before. “These guys are famous”, one of them pipped. “I just don’t know who they are, but they’re quite big I think”. Unable to place them, the Belgians shrugged it off, and went back to drying glasses, wiping off the bar top and generally doing other bar-like things. Their customers continued with their late night chatter, enjoying the good voices and the decent riffs coming from the stage.

When they were done, Lieselot went over to their table.

“Hey, you guys are pretty good. Are you musicians?”

“Yeah, we’re a band actually. Oasis.”

“OH.”

And she had a few more drinks with them, and chatted some more. It was getting late, so they stood up, left her a generous tip and put on their jackets to leave.

“Are you in town for much longer?” she asked, as they were heading out.

“No, we’re heading to Stockholm tomorrow.”

So they said their goodbyes and left. Lieselot closed up the bar, headed home and had a shower. Then she googled “Oasis”.

“Oh, so that’s why they sounded so familiar. And hey, that guy who tried to kiss me, he’s the lead singer of the band!”

Dear blog, that’s what I had to tell you. Lies and I think it’s a good story, one to tell her grandkids many years from now, when she no longer has any real teeth and when they have no clue a band called Oasis ever existed, and when people no longer go to gigs because hologram bands now play live music in their living rooms.

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